Today did not get off to a good start. I thought it was Friday when in fact it was Thursday...all will become clear!

I had set my alarm for 6.45am.....as the beeps bounced off the walls like schrapnel piercing my ear drums I shot out of bed and into the shower...I was cooking today!

I put on something pretty smart..after all it was going to be a civilised day today...I grabbed my camera...got a coffee to take away from the Deli and went and sat in the lobby. We were going to be collected at 8am and visit a local market to buy our ingrediants before returning to the cooking school which is on our resort overlooking the beach...

Anyway the clock ticked away and the concierge came upto me...."Mr Sewarrrrae you not cooking until tomorrow??"...."What" I replied...."It is "Thursday today not Friday"...."Oh BUGGER" I said...."my mistake...ha!".....I made a quick retreat back to my room to re-group...what a twat!...Well on the good side I have another day..but I hadn't made any plans today and the weather looked distinctly dodgey...so I decided to hire a car just for the day. The hotel will do it all for you as they are an agent of SIXT car hire. They charged me $1800 baht for the day which is £32 per day ..so it was good really considering that they would charge me $1,500 baht for a return trip to Phuket, where they drop you off and collect you at a fixed time. I thought fuck it, I'll get my own car and go wherever I want, when I want...and will not be ruled by a shitty hotel timetable that suits them by the way and not the customer!

I was given a new Cheverolet..that's code for a hair dryer....the window wipers on my car at home are more powerful than the engine this thing had...but at least it got me out of the resort....and it was an automatic...before I set off I tried twiddling with the radio and eventually found Blue Wave Radio on 90.5 fm. What a fantastic radio station..it's English and although their style in music is overall pretty dated if not dubious, you do get the BBC news update every hour and an English disc jockey which made me feel strangely at home!

So where shall I go? As I started to study the map Dame Shirley Bassey started singing "Something"...God I hadn't heard that since I was a kid...and it is a fantastic track..I had also forgotten how good her bloody voice is too... fantastic!...Having turned her up to the bemusement of the security guard, I decided to head for the National Park - Khao Phra Thaeo and see the waterfall there..the Ton-Sai Waterfall..so me, the chevvy and Dame Shirl headed out, all singing "Something"...even though it was 400 degress outside I wound down the windows and sang it to the neighbourhood as I flew past...he-he naughty!

I headed South on Highway 402...I reckoned it was about 20 miles...I drove into Thalang and then took the turn for the Waterfall...the roads are a million times better than in England...wide roads, and smooth, pothole hole free tarmac...but best of all NO SPEED CAMERAS OR POLICE ABOUT!!! YES!! Jeremy Clarkson should film Top Gear here..he would love it! I confess to putting the family four door chevvy to the test today...despite having my foot to the metal for an hour, it took about 10 minutes to reach 120 kph...a robin reliant would have done it in half the time! How dull!

Just before I arrived at the park, I found a large rubber plantation...and stopped to take a photo. It looked perfectly uniformed with all of the trees in perfect lines with the tubs collecting the lactose also in perfect symmetry.

I was wondering where the tin mines were because that is how Phuket used to make its money before the tourists arrived....but maybe they are all closed now... Anyway I was charged $200 baht to get into the park and once I had parked up, I headed off into the rainforest...

I love treks into the wilderness but I do like to be able to work out the actual path I'm supposed to be walking on!...You couldn't here!...and it's not nice when you are on your own... I did my best but only managed 1km of the 2km route...it was treacherous...you could hardly work out the path and were constantly clambering over butress tree roots and all of the stones and rocks beneath your feet were slimey and wet....perfect for breaking your ankle or neck on....I also thought I saw a scorpian and jumped a bloody mile, only to realise that it was actually a crab....a bright red crab..that live in the shallows of the waterfall...they only come out at night apparantly so I was lucky to see it.... It was tiny with an oversized claw and was not at all happy to see me...I quickly looked around for his mates but he was alone...except that is for the million or so termites that I could see everywhere...I then started imagining breaking my leg or being stung by an actual scorpion..what would I do?...

Don't panic I have my AIG policy!!..but what if I was stuck there for days? I then realised that the phone I had charged last night and bought with me for emergency purposed was in the bloody car along with my rucksack, 2 bottles of water and cinnanon swirl! I just had me bloody camera...a huge amount of use in a survival scenario....!

I found the "waterfall"...it was... mmm.... disapointing....I didn't expect Niagra, or Angel Falls..but I did expect something maybe a couple of hundred feet..there are sewers in London that have a larger drop than this waterfall.... not what I had expected but at least the forest was fantastic...it was also a sanctuary for the Gibbons....I enjoyed the forest but I wouldn't have paid the £4 to get in had I known the situation regarding the state of the trail...which is a shame because I could imagine a crowd of people wearing timberlands..i.e properly kitted out, would really enjoy it.....Well by the time I had scared myself to death and realised that this is the sort of thing that I should do with Alex around....I found the carpark and sped off out of there....

Next on the list was Old Phuket town....it didn't take me long to get there in my naf little chevvy...but God....it's a bit "Yokel Local".. ...I parked up and found the fruit market which was nice...lot's of flies but nice..and well..that was about it...so I went to "Puff & Pie" and purchased a sausage Croisannt....and mightily impressed I was too...!...in fact they had some very nice looking pastries and savouries there..so I recommend that little place..

After that I headed off to the Butterfly farm....it is a place for research and was really interesting...I think I saw ten tarantulas including the massive King Baboon Tarantula...it was definately worth paying $300 baht just for that!..It was all about educating you about the butterflies and the growth process from lavae, to caterpillars etc...you learn about silk worms and silk manufacture ...and you can interact with the butterflies by going into the "Nursery" and feeding them bananas.

As I was working out how to get out without taking a million butterflies with me... a downpour commenced...and a sweet little girl escorted me to the car...Once in, I stupidly set off underestimating the rain because within minutes the roads were flooded and I mean flooded, and I had a Chevvy....Shit...I prayed the engine didn't get wet along with the spark plugs...I did not want to break down there! Well it got so hard that I had to pull over - the windscreen looked as though it had milk all over it....I took some photos as it eased up and will post them shortly.....it was all a bit scary actually...and I was regularly reminded by sign posts that I was in a tsunami dange zone...great!

Once the rain had eased off I searched for Si-Ray Island..I was missing my sat nav because I got horrrendously lost and kept going around in annoying circles...eventually I found the bridge onto Si Ray Island..and take a tip...don't go...it's the arse end of the island...on the one hand you had sheds with tin roofs and just 200 yards down the road stood an oppulent mansion..I couldn't work it out..it even had a security tower in the grounds?....baffling....so weird in fact I took a phot of the tin houses and the mansion. Anway enough said about that....I didn't like it!

I hot-tailed it out of there and decided to drive across the island and drive up the west coast. I headed across on highway 4020 - I arrived in Patong..and Well.....I've arrived in Blackpool! It's all here no doubt....tatoo central; tantrums and tiara's, tits and tarts...the works..and lots of ping pongs too....I drove straight through..but luckily spotted La Flora which is right on the beach and looks fab...and it looks like a mini fortress with its private beachfront banishing the tatoo brigade to the public beach further down.. ha! I drove up through Kamala beach and Surin beach, bypassed Laguna and then back to the hotel...It was a nice "Pacific highway" style road...and strange that just over 2 weeks ago I was at Laguna Beach on the Pacific coast.... :)

I had decided to go and see Fanta Sea this evening....the Thai theme park....check it out on the web it looks totally over the top...I passed it on the way back to the hotel...but just before I headed out I went on line to check our how much it costs - and guess what? It's closed every Thursday!!! Shit...! So I'm chilling tonight and looking forward to my day of thai cooking tomorrow.

Night night

A :)