At last a decent nights sleep! In fact I can't remember the last time I woke up at 10am? Although I quickly became impatient because half the day was almost gone and I hadn't even thought about what I was going to do today. So during the shower (which was fabulous!) I decided to put on some decent clothes and go into Ginza to check out the shopping Mecca properly.

Looking very "Club Monacco" - with Louis V in tow, I set off for the subway via Starbucks. In fact the sun felt quite strong which was a big improvement on yesterday! I got off the red Metro Maranouhi line at Ginza - and I have to say I'm starting to settle in now and I'm feeling quite comfortable with using the subway. Someone dear to me would say "I'm very much enjoying my new way of life".

Despite my misgivings the other day I would rather get hopelessly lost on the subway than pay a kings ransom for a cab-driver who has no idea where anything is. Seriously - if you use a cab in Tokyo you are crazy - be patient and work out the subway. You will save a fortune.

Ginza was buzzing today and the sun shining appeared to make a difference - with the rays bouncing off the gleaming shop front windows blinding me. I still can't get over the Gold, 12 story Cartier building - it's bigger than the one on 5th Avenue in New York!

I went into Louis Vuitton first, and unlike London - did not have to que, provide a blood test, or birth certificate to get in...I walked in and my eyes fixed upon the new black weekend/hand luggage range which I have had my eye on since I got a black car - I know it's sad but everything has to match - I am a bit OCD like that...but I'm sure I'm not a lone! So I reached for my Iphone and the currency converter application I downloaded before I came (and now know how to use!) is really useful.

I started to do a "Tesco" price checker recce and as Gran out of Catherine Tate would say.. "What a fucking liberty!".....talk about being over priced. It was all way more expensive than London - I'm sorry - a great store but I'm not being ripped off by anyone..£1,700 quid for a weekend bag...."What a load of old shit"....so I then went to Mont Blanc - because I wanted a fountain pen with a chrome cover. I have one with a gold cover - The guys from work got me it for my 30th birthday - which seems light years away.. but wait...what? no? They can't have?....well according to Tokyo prices they paid £450? Ahh bless them! Naughty I shouldn't have done that - but I'm sure it must have been cheaper in London :)

Anyway the one I liked was £500 quid in Tokyo and I know in the UK it would be around £250 or £300 so I thought "screw that too". Dejected and desperately trying to buy something for a bargain, I stumbled upon Tag Heuer. I love their Monacco range and did a price check in Sydney last month. The Sydney prices were around £300 quid cheaper than the uk - so what about Tokyo? ...... Well stop the f*cking press right now! I kid you not "Rodney" - the black faced Monacco was £800 more expensive here than in Selfridges in London. The guy who jumped me the moment I walked in kept saying "good price sir..very good price"..having consulted the "Orcle" (aka my iphone)... I replied hardly concealing my disgust with a "no it's not. It's a crazy price...ridiculous"..and walked out...Ok so that was it - I'd swanned around and was getting depressed...what next?

Why not do a bit of culture? YES! So I walked East out of Ginza and up past the imperial Palace and into the National Museum of Modern Art - A big Paul Gauguin exhibition was on - and unlike the rest of Japan there was english wording on the signs as well as japanese - thank christ I thought! Although I know very little about Gauguin - I recognised the name - so let's try it. I walked in and paid my 1,500 yen (£10). I also found some really helpful lockers - where for 100 yen you can put your bag in for safekeeping and then when you put the key in the locker to retrieve your bag, you get your money back - a free cloakroom! Fabulous. These are all over Tokyo.

I went up to the entrance and passed the girl my ticket. I could also see audio guides from a distance - Wonderful - I will have one of those I thought - THEN IT ALL WENT WRONG! I got upto the audio desk and there was a great big sign "Japanese Only Audio" - What???

This is actually a major flaw in Tokyo. It desperatley wants our tourists bucks, but does bugger all to cater for us. This is a cosmopolitan, international hub city is it not? Let's do a quick poll. How many of us did Japanese at school? - hands up? ... ok no-one....ok - How many did English? ...ah yes - THE REST OF THE FRIGGING WORLD!!! So why can't they put English on the signs just like we seem to put 20 languages up in our museums and galleries? I was really pissed off because when I went through to the gallery to learn about Gauguin - it was all in japanese too- nothing was in english except purely the title of the pictures. All the video and explanations were in Japanese. So I know as much now, as I did this morning about Gauguin...which was not the plan!

Although I amsorry - but I have to say this - and all of the art lovers out there are going to shoot me - but here comes another Grandma from Catherine Tate moment - but PLEASE - "what a load of old shit"...he was no master - I've seen 15 year olds paint better than that. If there was an art equivalent of the X factor and someone painted that for the first time today - Simon Cowell would have burnt it and condemned is as utter TUT.

The only one I liked (for all the wrong reasons) was the "The loss of virginity" - go and check it out on-line - I can only describe it as odd...it was basically a naked girl laying in a field with what looks like a fox laying over her chest...far in the distance it looks as though the whole village is approaching....and if you look closely it's men and women...so without any assistance from the gallery, I'm left musing - ok so is the whole village going to watch her lose her virginity or worse still is the whole village going to help her lose her virginity...or wait....worse still is the whole village going to gang bang her? Is that the way she "loses her virginity?" - I sincerely hope not - what an awful start to ones sexual experiences to be gang banged by an entire village....!!

I actually like J.M.W Turner - The Burning ship; and the bone where Parliament is on fire..e both ae great paintings. I love Anthony Van Dyck work and ever since my first visit to the National Gallery when I was 19 I have always loved his Equestrian painting of Charles 1 - it was a monster of a painting - huge, intimidating and powerful, even though he got the head of the horse completely wrong and out of proportion. He also did Samson & Delilah - a great painting too....real talent...Da Vinci's - "The Last Supper" and "Virgin on the rocks" are other favourites and John Constables "The Hays Wain" reminds me of childhood - because we had a copy of it on the wall. A beautiful heart warming, gritty rural, farming/landscape painting - a real work of art.

Monet on the other hand - well I liked him at Uni...and still do..but I have discovered over time that it is not his technique that I respect or love, but rather his use of colour. My favourite colours are bue and red so I loved the parliament painting with its blue hue and the red poppy field painting... but it wasn't really Da Vinci talent was it?

I thought Gauguin was crap actually. The serious art heads were there, no doubt trying to "interpret" the paintings..for some deep inner meaning. I have always thought that was a futile exercie - Art - like it or dislike it, is very subjective and a very personal affair...no-one will ever know whether Van Gough was off his tits on meths or what he was thinking or trying to convey (if anything at all) when he painted a vase of sunflowers - who gives a shit - he didn't - He topped himself at the ripe old age of 37!

I just love the colours and the vibracy of the Sunflowers painting...it's as simple as that....I know all the art lovers out there are steaming mad now - sorry! but I'm just being honest. Who has talent? - John Constable or Tracey Emin?..bearing in mind anyone could recreate an Emin work simply by going to Millets. Could you paint a Constable?

I'm going to avoid the questions "But is it art?" or "What is art?" - All I know is that I know the difference between a complete and utter piss take (outrageously called art) compared to something that took weeks,months or even years to create - you go work it out.

I'm writing todays blog a little early because I am going to check out the night life in Tokyo tonight and have half an inch of Saki and maybe even have a sing song....who knows...so wish me luck!

:)